The MisAdventures of El Quijote

or
The Quest of One Member of the Sub-Prime Generation to Restore Himself to Health, Wealth and Intellectual Curiosity

I know none of you asked for this but here it is anyway. The latest info on my quest to do something besides work, eat and sleep.

Sunday
This morning was a true spring day, warm and sunny with a delightful breeze. I decided to begin my goal of eventually biking the Katy Trail by riding a bit of Kansas City’s Little Blue Trace. Dulcinea wanted to go, and as she had been out of commission with a broken foot since late winter, we decided to try only six miles. We made it. It was beautiful.

Species recognized: Wild phlox, cow pasley, red-wing blackbird, Canada geese, and soft-shell turtles (sunning themselves).

Saturday night I kicked off the intelligentsia portion of my quest by seeing Jean Renoir’s 1939 film masterpiece, “The Rules of the Game”. There I sat in the Tivoli watching a black and white French film with English sub-titles. I loved it; I left the theater more satisfied than I have from many recent films. And it did stimulate the evening’s conversation. The only downside was the woman behind me that had a difficult time recognizing the mood of the film. She kept laughing even when the film turned from comic to tragic. But then again, maybe she understood the French language and was picking up nuances I wasn’t. However, I don’t think so.

A Modern Day Variant

A Modern Day Variant

Sung to: Give Peace a Chance
By John Lennon and Paul McCartney

Two, one, two, three four
Everybody’s talking about
Baghdad, Gonzales, Al Sadar
Seung-Hui Cho, Virginia Tech
This-ism that-ism, ism, ism, ism
All we are saying is give peace a chance
All we are saying is give peace a chance.

C’mon
Everybody’s talking about
That creepy, blank-eyed loner
Writing so psychotic that students
Discussed when he would shoot up the school.
Make believe-ism, for TV-ism, I wish I could remember-ism.
All we are saying is give peace a chance
All we are saying is give peace a chance.

Let me tell you now,
An angry parent said.
“My God, if someone shoots somebody there should be an immediate lockdown of the campus. They totally blew it, the President blew it, and campus police blew it." He said about his first year daughter who was not on campus at the time.
Regulation, Interrogation,
Flagellation, Masturbation, United Nations,
All we are saying in give peace a chance.
All we are saying in give peace a chance.

Let’s show the whole world
Our suffering and grief
It is to intense to keep inside
Let’s have a bonfire, prep rally for the dead.
The somber event surprised everyone by ending exuberantly when poet Nikki Giovanni yelled out, "We are Virginia Tech!" and thousands in attendance began clapping and chanting, "Let's Go, Hokies!"
Why not-ism… we have a hell of a football team-ism.

Into the sewer
A gun-rights advocate said yesterday that if Virginia Tech students and employees had been armed they would have been able to defend themselves against the rampaging kill.
Has he been to war-ism, ever saw a dead person-ism
Listenin’ to too much talk radio-ism
Anne Coulter and Sean Hannity-ism
All we are saying in give peace a chance.
All we are saying in give peace a chance

The End

And now we must become human again. .
“He has made the world weep. We are living a nightmare,"
said Seung-Hui Cho’s sister.

“We pray for their families and loved ones who are experiencing so much excruciating grief. Each of these people had so much love, talent and gifts to offer, and their lives were cut short by a horrible and senseless act." Sun-Kyung Cho

Please proceed to.

Imagine
“Imagine all the people
Living life in peace.”
John Lennon

Cleaning out the Attic v2.0

While cleaning out the dark recesses of my computer in a futile effort to increase the speed of downloading I came across bits and pieces of various things I had written. Even though most are out of date I just couldn’t part with some without giving them the light of day.

Decompression
At the end of each work week I hurry home to do all the things I need to do (mow the lawn, wash dishes, finish the taxes, etc.) so I will have time to do the things I think I want to do (bicycling, boating, hiking) and end up doing the things I usually do (sleeping in, visiting the local pub, organizing).

And example of what I really do.
I had a doctor’s appointment this morning at 8am. I had to fast because they were taking blood. I called it changing my oil, but the nurse didn’t even laugh. It sort of sucks when the patient is happier than the staff. However, if I don’t get my blood pressure and the “bad” triglycerides down she is going to load me with medications to do it for me. So I begged off for three more months. I promised to exercise, lose weigh, and eat healthy…. and write a novel, be awarded the Nobel Prize, and win the lottery.

After my appointment I stopped by McDonald’s to get coffee ….okay. And I loaded up on a sausage with egg biscuit.

Now that I am back home, according to my new atomic clock that always tells the correct time, it is now afternoon. So I just pop the top on a Cerveza del Pacifica as I cook the bacon for my BLT.

This leads into a previous piece.

Procrastination
How many ways can I procrastinate. Let me count the ways.
I am always late. Give me a minute and I will take two.
An early assignment and I will save it until the very last moment.
A test? I always wait until the night before to cram.
Check the oil. I’d rather let it run dry.
Paint my house. Not until I see dry rot.

How long can a procrastinator procrastinate? As long as possible.
I once read that people that are always late are trying to draw attention to themselves. I don’t believe that at all. I think I’m just trying to avoid being seen. (Update: 20% of the
American population is chronically late)

Now that I’m responsible for others I have been trying very hard to be on time. But I have found that having such a terrible history of being late is still ingrained in me. Even when I am on time, even ahead of time, I still get that late feeling. Maybe I’m addicted to the adrenaline rush I needed all along just to get things done.

Cleaning out the Attic v1.0

While cleaning out the dark recesses of my computer in a futile effort to increase the speed of downloading I came across bits and pieces of various things I had written. Even though most are out of date I just couldn’t part with some without giving them the light of day.


Cuban Baseball vs. Right to Free Expression

A few years ago while visiting Florida I read in the Miami Herald about an incident that was straining international relations. Cuba was playing the Netherlands in the World Baseball Classic at San Juan, Puerto Rico. The game was being broadcast live back to Cuba.

It seems a Cuban exile was sitting in the stands behind home plate and flashing derogatory signs about Fidel Castro that would be picked up by the television cameras. The Cubans complained about it but when nothing was done the top Cuban official at the game confronted the sign waver.

He was arrested by Puerto Rican police and taken to a nearby police station where they lectured him about free speech.

“We explained to him that here the constitutional right to
free expression exists and that it is not a crime.” Said police
Col. Adalberto Mercado.

When I arrived back in Kansas City according to Pitch Magazine there was a big brouhaha going on about the President of the United States speaking at a Lee’s Summit High School. It was just prior to his campaign for a second term in office. It seems that students wearing anti-Bush or Democratic slogans were not allowed to enter their own high school football stadium were the speech was being given. The Secret Service was also preventing the press from entering.

Where is Col Adalberto Mercado when you need him?


The Demise of the Iced Tea Spoon

Just this evening I was mixing a mojito and I had to resort to a chop stick to mix it all together. The experience made me think back to the last time I have enjoyed the convenience and pleasure of an iced tea spoon.

Of course, being from the south, iced tea only comes one way, sweet, so there is no need for a spoon. But as you creep north you begin to get ambivalence: Captain D’s, a chain originating in Tennessee, at least asks you, “Sweet or Bitter”. When you end up in the fast food eateries of the north you are lucky to get a straw to mix sugar into your iced tea.

In quality restaurants should your place setting include an iced tea spoon? Should I judge my host by the presence or lack thereof an iced tea spoon? My southern etiquette tells me if a salad fork is appropriate then an iced tea spoon would be mandatory.

However, I don’t have to wash the tableware either.

My Semi-Annual Journey

Twice a year I go south to Springfield, Missouri to take care of some family business, visit a few old friends and see how things have changed. I am from the Ozark Mountains but not Springfield. However, I did go to school at Drury College in Springfield. Yes, I was a Panther for four years.

Opps. It is called Drury University now. Also known as DU. That was a joke when I went to school there. Q: Do you know why Drury will never be called a university. A: Du. Okay it was funny, maybe you had to be there.

I don’t understand why every school wants to be a university. Think of brilliant schools like Grinnell College, Colorado College and Carleton College. They have no need to inflate their egos with a U.

My first appointment was at 9am so I left Kansas City very early. I was not happy to get up at 4:30 am on my first day of vacation. Yes, I have vacation all next week. I didn’t want to, but UMKC now limits the amount of vacation that we can take during the Summer Term and if we don’t take our vacation we lose it. We can’t accumulate vacations days. So it is a case of use it or lose it. Of course the forecast is for snow tonight.

I arrived early in Springfield so I swung by the old forty acres (Drury). Students were just hustling their butts off to 8 am classes. It was about 40 degrees and cold rain, but some guy was going to class clad in track shorts and a sweatshirt. Did we dress that stupid in college? Yes.

Students were hurrying across “the lane” burdened with big backpacks and even larger vessels of coffee. They can drink in class now. We couldn’t have drinks or food in class, so we would meet afterward in the old commons and drink hot coffee and have deep conversations about the meaning of life and the latest gossip on campus. Things change, for better or worse and still remain the same.

On the way out of town I couldn’t resist stopping off at the National Headquarters of Bass Pro Shops just to look. And of course I walked out with a new fedora, sunglasses and fly rod.

Why I Passed on Blue Man Group at Kemper Arena

Many, many moons ago, when I was just a whipper-snapper I was invited to a weekend esthetics workshop at NYU. The workshop was Friday and Saturday and each evening our hosts had planned a special night out on the town in Manhattan.

The first night we attended an art gallery opening in the Village and then had dinner with a group of cosmetic dentists, plastic surgeons, fashion photographers and models somewhere in Soho. The highlight of the night for me was when it came time to leave; I had to hail a cab back to the hotel. I had taken a cab before, but I had always called for one or caught them at the hotel. But just to step into the street, raise your hand and have a cabbie stop, felt very much like being in a movie.

The next evening we attended an unusual show called Blue Man Group. A few years before, they had moved out of the experimental stage and into a small downstairs theater in the East Village. They had been playing to full houses every night.

I remember being entranced and feeling very avant-garde. The theater was small and the show was very audience interactive. It was an experience I will always remember vividly.

So, it was with interest that I read in the internet version of the Kansas City Star Preview Extra that Blue Man Group was coming to Kemper Arena March 31st. My first thought was how, after all these years, could they still perform with the energy I saw that night in New York? Second was how such an intimate, personal interactive show could be produced in a big barn like Kemper?

I followed the link to the Blue Man website and was surprised to find that Blue Man is now a Company, almost like a franchise. There are over forty bluemen and they play through out the world. They have altered the show to be a spectacular so they can play in large arenas. The Kansas City show was a rock concert, part of their How To Be A Megastar 2.0 Tour.

At that point I decided I would take a pass on Blue Man Group (2007 version). Don’t get me wrong I’m sure they have a fascinating show. But I think I will just keep my memory of a unique experience I had in a basement theater somewhere in New York City too many years ago.