Thursday, August 24, 2006

Cry Baby!

I can't believe at this time last week I was lamenting about being overly tired from too much vacation traveling. This is only my fourth day back at school and I am ready for another extended vacation, or how about a sabbatical year?

Don't get me wrong. I love my job. The problem is I love sleeping in late, taking afternoon naps, eating and drinking too much and staying up late even more.

It hasn't helped that each day on my commute from suburbia there has been a major traffic accident. It is tough enough to have to rise before the sun is up, but then to sit in traffic inhaling toxic vapors just because the whole city forgot how to drive this summer is not my idea of a good time.

A list of bad traffic behaviors that piss me off:
1. Tail-gating. If I can't see anything but your front windshield in my rear view mirror you are to close. Back-off. If you were following me that closely walking on a city sidewalk a jury would acquit me for acting in self-defense after I had blown you away with a 12 gauge shotgun.
2. Signaling after your turn is completed. That blinker is to be used to signal your intent to change lanes. I already know when you have so rudely cut me off; I don't need you to then turn on your signal just to remind me.
3. We are moving along well at 80 mph and one set of brake lights come on; who are the idiots that then have to dodge across four lanes of traffic so they won't be caught in a slow lane?

There was a comedian that once promoted the idea that every driver should have a powerful rubber dart gun with darts that said, "Stupid" on them. Whenever a fellow driver pulled an obnoxious boneheaded stunt you were allowed to shoot their car with a dart. At least that way when you saw a car coming, bristling with "Stupid" darts, you would know to get out of their way.

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